Monday, March 9, 2009


This is where being a single mom is hard.  I have to be the parent who loves and nurtures as well as the one who lays down the hammer.  Okay maybe not a hammer but a soft mallet.   
So I allowed Carlee to go on a sleepover at someone news house.  I had met the dad on Halloween when the girls were trick-or-treating, but that was the only time.  I see the twin girls at Carlees school every week when I go~so I did know they were good kids.
Age 10 is where you are setting boundaries and finding out how much your child can handle without screwing up.  She knew the rules.  I had packed her back because she was going right after school on friday.  She was supposed to call me before she left school and when she got to the girls dads house.  And she was supposed to be home before noon on Saturday.  Okay she did call at school....I waited for a phone call before I had to go to work that luck.  I thought maybe she would call while I was at luck.  So after I got off work was too late to I called again in the luck.  You get worried.
I mean you really cant think of much else in times like these.... did I really know these people. 
So on Saturday I worked a noon to five shift.   Remind you she was supposed to come home before then.  NO LUCK!  Okay I am calling....I call her teacher, because they have a close knit class....she put my mind at ease a bit by telling me what good people they are and they are just having fun.  I go to work....thinking of only this the whole time.  I get off and am calling like crazy now because she still hasn't called.  I have already started calling another parent...during that call she calls...with that soft sweet voice, "mamma."  I'm like "CARLEE YOU KNEW THE RULES YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!"  She explained that Ray (the dad) lives on an Avocado farm in Santa Barbara and they weren't inside most of the day and they were just having the time of their lives.  Ray doesn't have a car. Still no excuse for no call right?  I could hear him in the background saying..."I asked you numberous times if everything was okay."  I speak to Ray for a moment to get directions....he is apologetic...I told him I was on my way.  I pick her up...she automatically grabs my face and kisses me.  He immediately tells me what a considerated nice young lady I have.  He extended the invite for her to come over any time.  I make small talk for a second about what an amazing place he lives....I mean it was on the top of the hills facing Santa Barbara, you could see the whole ocean and the town lit up.  Quite a majestic place.  Anyway I explain to Carlee how I feel when she is away with no call or idea how she is...and how things could have been much easier on the two of us with just a simple phone call.  She didn't say much she just sat there with tears in her eyes...I could see them glistening with each passing car.  She said to me "mommy, I understand why you are upset and I do deserve to be grounded."   AHHHH, heartstrings!   So I have grounded her for the whole sleepovers and no tv.  Her chore list grew quite a bit.  Although this seriously sucked for both of us...I must say it did humble her.  She was getting to a point to where she was thinking that she had to sleepover somewhere, or someone was sleeping at our house every single weekend.  It's hard being 10 I guess.  You always wonder if you did the right thing...

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