one vast majestic river.

One vast majestic river~

rolls its rapid waves,

bursts and raves.

through the mountains alone~

water is 1/2 its own.

from the secret springs,

with your tribute brings.

whether rain or pain,

you're ceaseless motion,

undying devotion.

oh, that one vast majestic river~~~

"momma can we hear Bob Dylan?"

This is such a special thing that happened between me and my daughter in the white '84 Volvo station wagon at her age 4.  We had months before saw Bob Dylan in Charleston WV with 2 of our dear friends Nikki and Scott.  Mind you she had seen so much music in her day even then, so many diverse bands.  She was Bob Dylan obsessed!!!  OBSESSED!  We listen to him so much in that year and a half after we saw him until I had to get her Dave Grishman and Jerry Garcia ~ Not for kids only, that she quit obsessing. 

 Okay picture this, beautiful country day driving down the road in Fayetteville, all the windows and sun roof open listening to music.  She was in the back with our dog Namaste and you said pretty loudly "Momma, can we hear Bob Dylan?"  In deep thought about something else I said "Sure, right after this song."  Not really paying attention to what she had said.  I heard her but certainly not listening.  A few minutes went by and she said, "Momma, is this Bob Dylan?"  I said "Yeah, hun."  Still not really paying attention.  About 20 seconds went by and she came back with, "MOMMA, you lie this is Jerry!"  The crazy thing was is that is was Jerry, the Jerry Garcia Band which is much different that Grateful Dead.  I was baffled that she at her age could tell the difference between musicians so precisely.  So another couple seconds went by as I sat there in Ahhh, and was thinking to myself why couldn't have anyone else been in the car to hear that.  She comes back with "mamma, NOW will you play Bob Dylan?"  I said "certainly my friend, nothing would make me happier!"   

I mean it is so simple but such a touching most memorable moment in my life just knowing that music is just as important to your child as it is you.  I'm sure I'm not doing everything right as a mother......but somethings I am!

I love you Carlee, Nikki, Namaste, and Smitt!  This one is for all of you!

To sum the last 5 years up...then some.

I have started this blog because my wonderful girlfriend has one, it sparked something in me.  I thought to myself how clever, I mean I write in a journal at least once a week.  Not to mention I am about to embark on another huge journey, another chapter in my book.  I have made 2 huge moves in the last 4 and 1/2 years and my life has changed so much in this time.  I am moving back to square one in a couple months, where I left from~with very little regrets, but big time debts!  

I left quite a simple life in 2005.  I was rafting, substitute teaching, and drinking tons of great wine with my girlfriend Jayann in the beautiful state of West Virginia.  I was making horrible decisions when it came to dating...but I will touch on that another time.  Something has always made my heart want to go west...always.  I had made the decision to go west when I graduated from Marshall in 2001, before my daughter was to start Kindergarten. This was the same time my dad left my mom in complete devastation after a 32 year marriage for someone whom I went to high school with.  Bitch!  I couldn't leave her in that time of need, so that is when I decided to move to Fayetteville and become a river rat.  

I actually found my heart there.  WOW, what an amazing place with people with such a zest for life.  People who love to live and know how to do it right~!  During that time I had put my daughter in a daycare and drove 60 miles back and forth to train on the river in the freezing cold with no pay...what the hell was I thinking?  I must say that I loved it....every second of it.  It fueled something in me that didn't feel legal.

I only worked for the first company for one year...thought I was going to marry this guy.  

Got a job at another company tending bar, started rafting with them and fell in love with the bar owner from Jersey.  Geesh!  Needless to say that was a whirlwind romance that was short lived.  I only worked one whole year and part of the next year for that company and was teaching quite a bit that next year.  I took on a middle school cheerleading squad....GOOD LORD!  These bright eyed brace faced girls that needed me, and I gave in...I was their coach.

The pay sucked for the time and effort I put in, but I must say I learned a lot in the meantime. 

I had finally made the decision to leave....it was a tough one knowing that I had one faithful best friend Jayann...but knew where ever I went she would always be in my life.

I got rid of everything in my 3 bedroom house, heart wrenching, my child was spending the summer with my mom.  So come July 5 of 2005 I took off west with my 2 dogs and whatever I could fit in my jeep, stopped off in Huntington and picked up my brother....straight to see Widespread Panic of course in Lake Tahoe CA.  I was kidnapped by a couple of boys from California we partied unstoppable for a few weeks for sure.  I once again thought I was in love with one of those boys....he actually did come see my several times in Oregon...although the rest of my package which was coming at the end of the summer scared him.  We spent time in Tahoe then San Fran, (where my brother went back) then Chico, Paradise, Monterey, and Big Sur.  AHHHH, sigh!  These are some of my most fond memories....ever!  I then packed the jeep and headed to HOOD RIVER OREGON.  I had a girlfriend that I used to raft with who told me to bring my ass up there that I would love it... I eventually listened.  The absolute most majestic place I have ever been (besides a private hot springs on a mountain besides bid creek bleeding into Big Sur).  I got a job waiting tables and tending bar in the first 24 hours I was there.  I worked for a crooked bitch, but we had lots of fun until I realized that.  Then I started tending bar for the most amazing person and man anyone could ever work for~Gumby!  Oh my goodness, talk about making lots of money and having the greatest time you could ever possibly have at the same time.  That was my experience with River City Saloon.  I can't even got into that too much I just may cry.  It was a year and a half of live music craziness and bliss.

I heart Hood River.  I was just ready to move on and get more education.  I applied to Brooks Institute of Photography...something that I have wanted to do my whole life...why not you know life is just too short.

So in just a few months I packed up the car and moved on down to Santa Barbara.  Oh my freaking are you kidding me, over load!!!  I met 5 cool girls....sweet!  I got an apartment right away...perfect.  But DAMN everything is friggin expensive!  I was gonna live off loans and go from debt free to into a partial lifetime of debt.  SICK!  This will be awesome.  I did nothing but shoot and type papers for almost 15 month...I learned more in that time than ever, I think.   

It all came to a screeching hault when the economy belly flopped and I couldn't get anymore money for loans.  FUCKERS!  So I continued to live in a small beach community that I was in love with and this made me unable to pay my loans....ouch they keep stacking up!  So that brings me to now.  I am still and have been working at a wine bar called Corktree Cellars for almost a year barely making it.  But I live in a bitchin house with a bitchin roommate a few blocks from the beach.....life IS a beach!  So this is when I have made my decision to come back to West Virginia.  I mean you can take the mountain momma out of her homeland but the country roads will take her home. 

Okay this is all I have for now....comment on whatever you like...I can add more to whatever you wish....I jumped around just to get the whole story out...I can get into some serious details.  Enjoy.